Surprised? [Kaoru/Open]

[Tsukimori Ryosuke]

It had been a matter of a few weeks since the Halloween Party, and yet the only thing that had changed for Tsukimori Ryosuke in the time that had passed since then had been the various plans he'd come up with to approach Uchida Kaoru again. That and.....something else.

But he knew that after what had happened at the party, after what she'd told him....it was his chance. This was the time to do it, now that Kaoru had at least given him a kind of "OK" to do so. And though she hadn't really done anything more than tell him that she couldn't say anything about the two of them, at least not back at the party, she'd opened up to him, even a little. She'd given him consideration enough, at least, to let him know.

Ryosuke had decided to go all out in the end. Though he didn't know how he would go about this, approaching Kaoru and all, what he would say to her, what he would say if he caught her parents instead, he'd also done something entirely uncharacteristic of himself. He doubted his friends would recognize him after this--neither what he'd been thinking to begin with or his physical appearance.

At the thought, Ryosuke picked up the small table mirror by his bed and looked inside, studying the shorter, dark brown locks of hair which had replaced his beloved long blonde ones.

He hadn't really wanted to do it at first. He'd almost turned back at the salon. But then he'd thought about how Kaoru had trusted him even a little--or seemed to-that Halloween night, how she'd always been so quick to judge him because of his blonde hair, how everyone had been so quick to judge that Yankee trademark of his....and then he'd thought of it as a new beginning, a fresh start away from the guy he'd started becoming years ago, when he'd done anything--good or bad--to get the attention he craved from his parents.

Then the blonde locks he'd had for so many years were gone, and even now, though it wasn't the first time he'd looked at his new hairstyle, he barely recognized himself. He looked older, more mature, serious....certainly not himself.

He looked like the kind of guy Kaoru would approve of.

"The kind of guy I hope she'll approve of," Ryosuke murmured back to his reflection, sighing. He lowered the mirror back onto his nighttable, smoothed out his clothes a bit, grabbed his schoolbag, and finally headed downstairs. His Mom hadn't seen his new transformation yet, and neither had Naomi or his Dad, which he was ultimately grateful for. He didn't want to get beat out of the house with a broom because his mother didn't recognize him....


Approximately ten minutes later, Ryosuke skidded to a stop on his bike, just outside the rather large building he knew belonged to the girl he'd fallen a little too hard for. Resting the weight of the bike on one leg, Ryosuke glanced up at the home. He could hear the loud thumping in his chest picking up its tempo, and he knew it had nothing to do with the long bike ride he had just taken. Even his hands had become sweaty.

"Well..." Ryosuke stepped over the bar and parked his bike next to a fence, trying his hardest to muster up the confidence he'd once had an overabundance of. "Here we go."

The former Yankee moved forward, approaching the front door, then rapped hard with his knuckles. He didn't really know what to expect or even what to say or how to say it. Kaoru was different from other girls--he couldn't have planned it out earlier if he'd tried. He was just going to be honest, speak straight from the heart, and given what she'd expressed to him at the party......he hoped she would give him some of her time. Even if only a second's worth.

Ryosuke resorted to smoothing his clothes to busy himself. Oh God...he was nervous, but he hoped she was home.

ooc: Stalker Ryosuke!!! AND THE NEW HAIRCUT! [ HERE ] But keep in mind....this is probably some time towards the end of the school semester, since it happened after Halloween. I hope this means I'm not digressing TOO much out of character~

[Uchida Kaoru]

Kaoru knew that chewing on her pencil was a bad habit, but she did it anyway.

Glancing over the notebook in front of her, she scrunched her nose. It looked like she was looking at foreign language... and then she remembered she was. Groaning loudly, she ripped off her glasses and rubbed her eyes furiously. The way the letters were blurring together, it wasn't like they were helping much anyway.

Kaoru hated English. She hated pretty much all her classes, wasn't the studious type at all, yet she had too much pride to take classes at a cram school or ask her parents for a private tutor... which left her ruminating on her hatred for academics most afternoons of the week for hours.

In a gesture she knew was melodramatic, she plopped her head against her desk, groaning once again. "Hatehatehatehatehate..." she muttered into it, her lips rolling against the varnished wood.

"...hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate--"

And then Kaoru heard the knocking on the door. She stopped abruptly, staring into her desk. She stayed like that for a few moments before raising her head.

The knocking continued, and it sounded pretty loud, like whoever it was knocking hard. The girl didn't particularly feel like attending to anyone. But alas, at that hour, her father would still be at work and her mother... was likely out and about town, doing whatever she did with all her spare time.

Speaking of her mother, she rarely invited people over, and always made sure to let everyone know well before hand, less for the family's sake and more to cover for the fact she was this domestic failure and needed a lot of help with the cooking and clearing. Kaoru never invited her friends over either; they always did things like shopping and the like. A neighbor would likely know they had a doorbell, and it seemed too late to be a delivery or even a salesperson...

Unless...

Kaoru's eyes snapped open wide as she jumped out of her chair, almost falling on the floor.

"Coming!" she yelled, dashing out of her room and bounding down the stairs two at a time. By the time she reached the front door, she'd almost fallen three and a half times, and had even nicked her fingers in her haste to get all the locks from the door open.

She couldn't get the front door open soon enough, and when she did she saw that it was...

...a guy.

She felt her heart droop a bit.

Kaoru mentally kicked herself, getting worked up like that... again. It always seemed to happen this way, and she was always disappointed the same way. She took a deep breath to compose herself, hoping that her disappointment wasn't showing on her face to whoever this visitor person was.

Only then could she really look at the guy... or look the best she could. It looked like a younger guy, really tall, with short dark hair... and that was about all she could make out of the blur of hues that stood before her. She squinted a bit. The features of the guy in front of her got the tiniest bit clearer, but she still didn't recognize him. Her mind flashed to the pair of glasses she left on her desk. Smart move there.

Kaoru immediately bowed her head, reverting to polite mode for the stranger.

"Hi..." she started, looking up to the guy. Maybe it was a neighbor's kid? Jeeze, she hoped he wasn't selling anything. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe I know you..."

Ugh, she should've asked about that before she opened the door. That would be another smart move on her part. She smiled slightly, despite her current self-deprecation, and her hopes to shoo the guy away as quickly as possible so she could return to her beloved English homework.

[Tsukimori Ryosuke]

Belated Outfit Here!

Ryosuke heard movement coming from inside the home and tensed up--suddenly he was hoping that Kaoru wasn't home, that he'd never come here, that he'd never cut his hair...what had he been thinking? Or maybe the better question was had he been thinking? He'd had so much of a one-track mind on what he wanted and what could immediately be done for that to even be possible, that he hadn't stopped to explore other possibilities (or the outcomes) along the way. Now he had nerves of another kind, and even if wasn't Kaoru that was coming to the door....

It swung open.

Ryosuke suddenly went on full alert, straightening up and nervously brushing at his clothes again, as though standing there and doubting himself moments before could have left behind some kind of physical mark.

It was Kaoru at the door. There had been a very short-lived look that Ryosuke thought seemed caught between hope and surprise which had fallen the instant she laid eyes on him. He'd gotten used to seeing her pretty face turn down like that, in disappointment or anger, whenever she saw him. It had become less hurtful over time, but he couldn't help but wonder if all his efforts and hope had been in vain. He shifted uncomfortably.
Yet even despite all that, Ryosuke felt something in his chest jump. It was that familiar sensation he always got when he saw Kaoru, like a little beacon in the back of his mind that was telling him that there was some hope, however small.

Still, he knew he had to prepare for the worst. A changed haircut didn't necessarily mean a changed person, and he didn't expect her to believe that. He just hoped she'd give him the chance to show her. Not a door slammed closed in his face, not a threat to call the police...

Ryosuke realized his attention hadn't actually been on Kaoru but on some sort of unkempt patch of garden by her front door, and when he finally looked back at her, she was squinting, examining him.

Then she bowed her head. "Hi...I'm sorry, but I don't believe I know you..."

Ryosuke's face fell. "You don't re...."

He hesitated. If she hadn't recognized his face, then surely she had to recognize his voice. He wasn't entirely sure what he was to expect now. He'd been expecting her to know who he was the instant she opened the door. Just that she'd recognize him and that he'd tried to change. For her. Though, maybe she wouldn't know he'd changed specifically for her, but even if she'd noticed that it was him at all....

He didn't know what to say.

You said you'd be honest, so just be honest. Out with it. The little gremlin inside him had spoken. But he knew that it was actually right, in this case.

"It's me....Ryosuke. Tsukimori Ryosuke." He paused, then quickly glanced at the ground, wondering if he ought to say more. There was so much more he wanted to say, of course, that's why he was here, but first he had to know how she felt. She.......she hadn't recognized him. Did he really look that different?

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: lolz, I always tend to forget about these things too! outfit~


As she stood at the door, Kaoru remembered just how abysmal her vision was. It was something that forced her to spend every waking moment in some kind of corrective lenses. In the few minutes she'd spent without her glasses, her eyes were already growing incredibly tired, causing the form of man in front of her the blur even more.

"You don't re...." The visitor started, then stopped. Though Kaoru couldn't even make out if this guy was smiling or frowning, it was evident from his voice that was suddenly disappointed. Still, she looked in the... general direction of stranger guy's face as he continued. "It's me....Ryosuke. Tsukimori Ryosuke."

Oh great, this guy was telling her his name, like that meant something!

Kaoru exhaled, at a loss. "Tsukimori," she mouthed, looking into a smear of green she assumed were the bushes partitioning the Uchida property from the neighbor's. What a weird name. And as bad as Kaoru was at names, she felt that if she did hear about a Tsukimori, she'd remember it. But she didn't. The first name, Ryosuke, now that wasn't so rare. She'd heard of Ryosukes before, but she couldn't put that name together with the guy that stood in front of her.

Two Achilles heels exposed -- her sight and her memory! Kaoru suddenly felt more dumb than when she was trying to do her homework.

In any case, this kid was talking like he knew her. When she thought about it, the voice did sound kind of familiar. There was no doubt about it, she'd heard it before! She scanned her mind for any of the neighbors, or her parents' friends that might have a kid that looked to be that age and height. She came up empty.

He must be from school!

Uchida Kaoru was terrible at remembering many of her classmate's names. Being a third-year, she didn't even put any efforts to remember the name of any kid not in her in-group anymore... if you weren't a friend, or part of her club or maybe one of her classes, you really didn't matter. Maybe he was an underclassman? A... really, really tall underclassman? Could be. Or maybe, a friend of a friend? That would also explain how this guy would've gotten her address. It all came together. Good job, Uchida! A+. You win!

"Tsukimori-kun!" she called warmly, but still making sure to keep an element of formality in her voice. Schoolmate or not, she (probably) vaguely knew this kid and had no idea what he would be doing at her front door. "This is... unexpected. Can I help you with something, or..."

[Tsukimori Ryosuke]

Ryosuke waited for the telltale sign of hatred. It was odd that he was so persistent with a girl like Kaoru. He'd thought it many times before, but he could never quite understand how he'd fallen for someone like her. Not just because of looks--it couldn't just be looks, especially considering both of them hadn't always seen each other at their bests. And there was definitely something else, some kind of emotional connection inside that he hadn't been able to sever between them on the nights when he'd gone home broken-hearted and promised himself to try and just forget and not care. He'd been rejected before, he'd been insulted...he'd had a lot of experiences with girls, and he'd accepted the outcomes of them whether or not they had been good or bad. More than that, he had always been so adamant in never pushing a girl beyond her comfort zone. Kaoru was the first girl he was doing that to, the first girl ever.

And he knew it wasn't for petty reasons, even if he was attracted to her. He knew he was doing it for both their sakes. Because he was sure that if someone didn't get down to what was wrong with Kaoru, at least try to understand her point of view.....then she would always be alone.

"Tsukimori..."

The girl looked frustrated, though she said nothing for quite some time. By the time it felt like minutes and minutes of silence had passed between them, Ryosuke returned his gaze to the piece of lawn he'd been studying earlier, and then he closed his eyes. Any second now, he was sure she'd say the words.

"Tsukimori-kun!"

Ryosuke's eyes snapped open.

"This is... unexpected. Can I help you with something, or..."

Tsukimori-kun!? Ryosuke tried to keep some composure about him. Can I help you with something!? He couldn't be sure whether this wasn't just another one of Kaoru's pretend games, like the one she'd played back at the party, acting as though she didn't recognize him there. He.....well, he didn't really understand why she did that, if that's what she was doing now, but by the look on her face and her polite, warm manner, he couldn't imagine that she knew for sure who he was and was suddenly going to be so good to him.

Which meant....when she did find out who he really was, what would she do? Assuming this wasn't all some set up, how would she feel about mistaking him for, evidently, someone else and actually treating him like.......a friend?

"Kaoru-chan...." Ryosuke took a moment. He was having quite the inner battle again. Part of him wanted to call it all off, pretend it had been a mistake, and go home. And another part of him almost wanted to see what would happen if he played along with Kaoru's nice charade. But there was a part of him remaining out of that battle of heated emotions, a part of him that wanted to remain honest, bring everything to light, and do what he'd come to do. It was tough, but he stuck with that gut feeling. He was going to see this through the honest way and no matter what the outcome. Though he was praying secretly to whatever power was out there that if he got rejected and turned away, it wouldn't hurt as much as he knew it could.

"Uh.....I don't really...know how to say this...." He bit a lip. He was nervous around her now, but it was only because of what he'd come to ask of her. Truth be told, there was a sense of comfort when he was around the girl, like he'd known her or had been waiting for her all his life. It was just oftentimes knocked into the background by the overwhelming combination of shame and hurt that usually accompanied Ryosuke's encounters with the girl. And more than that, he wasn't just nervous because of what he was asking of her....He was nervous because this was the very first time in his life he'd felt so serious about something.

"But it's me....Tsukimori Ryosuke. I don't think I'm the person you're thinking of right now..." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, but kept the girl's gaze. "I'm....I'm the...."

Blonde Yankee creep? Stalker guy? There were no good associations with him in Kaoru's mind, he was sure, and yet he didn't want to have to use the bad ones to get her to recognize him. He decided to be a bit more moderate in the end.

"I know you probably don't recognize me because of this...." He reached up and tugged on one of his now short strands of brown hair. "....but if you can remember a guy about the same height as me, same voice too, who used to have blonde hair..." He paused. "That's me. Tsukimori Ryosuke."

OOC: Angsty! O.O I listened to the Mona Lisa Smile suite while typing this, so that didn't help.

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: A touch of godmodding, but it's been okay'ed!


It seemed to take a while for the guy to respond, which got her to thinking... maybe he could tell that she didn't know who he was? Not that that didn't happen from time to time. Can't fool everyone all of the time, or something like that.

"Kaoru-chan...."

What the hell? Kaoru figured that she'd remember anyone who would dare... channify her name, even if it were in jest. Either that, or she was dealing with someone mighty presumptuous. She narrowed her eyes at the person in front of her.

"But it's me....Tsukimori Ryosuke."

There he goes saying that name again, like she was supposed to recall it!

"I don't think I'm the person you're thinking of right now..."

She maintained the smile on her face, making sure this guy wouldn't know just how frustrated she was. She talked to people she didn't know all the time, but considering she wasn't in the best of moods and the stranger of the day had waltzed up to her doorstep... it didn't make her feel that much better.

"....but if you can remember a guy about the same height as me, same voice too, who used to have blonde hair... That's me. Tsukimori Ryosuke."

Kaoru didn't know many blondes. Okay, Kaoru didn't know any blondes. Washizu had that policy about "extreme hair colors", and it usually looked so tacky anyway...

Then it clicked.

She looked up to the guy's face. The sudden realization of who he wasn't didn't improve her vision any, but she could swear that for a second, the clearest image of that yankee's goofy grin appeared amongst the sea of blurs...

Kaoru stepped back into her house and slammed the door as hard as she could.

After frantically doing up all the locks -- even the ones her folks barely ever used, as the neighborhood was usually safe -- she leaned against the door, a million different thoughts running through her head.

Kaoru dashed back up the stairs, grabbed a few items off her desk. As she left her room again, she replaced her glasses on her face, pocketed the rest, and for reasons that would elude her until the end of time approached the front door again. This time, she swept the curtains of the window by the door the tiniest bit, and peered outside.

"Holy crap."

He wasn't lying. Still standing there was hair boy... sans the hair.

He'd cut it off, that one thing that stood out to her from the beginning. Of course, he was still a delinquent stalker jerk with a stupid face... but that thing she'd pretty much defined him by wasn't there anymore. Kaoru didn't know what the heck he was trying to pull, or if he thought he could get away with it looking like a normal person, but she knew better. It might not look like a duck anymore, but it still walks like a duck and quack likes a duck, so dammit it's still a freaking duck.

It was so weird. When the whole thing started, she'd thought nothing much about the guy. He was some silly yankee jerk who broke into her school for what seemed like some petty reason. It was... a stupid, random thing that happened, and that was it. Even after that, the times she'd run into him were occurrences she chucked up to chance. But the starting fights with her, calling her terrible names; the yelling at her and yanking her around... that was unacceptable.

And now he was at her house.

Why not-quite-hair boy hadn't gotten the hint and left when she slammed the door in his face, Kaoru didn't know, but it was more than worrying. She didn't know what to do. Well, this guy had been pretty civil and innocuous, and she really wanted to solve this without a fuss... If the police got involved, there was no doubt that the neighbors and probably some of her classmates would hear. More than that, she didn't want her parents to know that she had ties to some yankee hooligan... The thought made her shudder.

For a moment, Kaoru really had to wonder if she was more afraid of the guy on the other side of the door, or the prospect of her parents finding out that she had gotten mixed up with a guy like him. Without deciding on an answer, she took a deep breath, undid the locks again, and stepped outside.

Kaoru looked right into the boy's eyes liked she'd done many times before... but it was hard not for escape by looking somewhere else; the ground, the yard, anywhere else. But she maintained eye contact, and started to speak in as confidently and as calmly as she could.

"Look, Tsukimori Ryosuke, I have no idea... how you knew... where I live..." Kaoru hesitated on that last part, to emphasize just how creepy she found it, though she didn't know if a person like the former blonde could or would care about that. "...but I've got to ask you to leave." She stopped and shook her head. "No, I'm telling you to leave. Or I'm going to have to call the police."

Then Kaoru bowed. Maybe dealing with people like him was a honey-over-vinegar kind of thing. He hadn't gotten the clue from her arguing with him, so now she'd try treating him as nicely and respectfully as she could possibly treat a stalker. She avoided the yankee's gaze when she lifted her head, instead turning around and stepping back into the house as fast as she could. And then she closed the door again.

But it didn't shut.

Kaoru shoved against the door again, but it wouldn't budge. It stayed about five or so centimeters ajar... like something wouldn't let it shut.

The girl looked down, and saw it -- the tip of a shoe. The blood drained from her face, her throat went dry, and a shiver traveled down her spine, a single thought running through her head:

He's trying to get in.

Instinct took over, Kaoru did the only thing that she could think of: push back against the door as hard as she could.

[Tsukimori Ryosuke]

OOC: This thread reminds me A LOT of Nishijima Takahiro's character, Yuu, with Hikari's character in "Love Exposure." I don't know if you ever saw it, but the two drive each other crazy, and this is kind of similar to how things happened between them! >< I feel like Ryo is gonna go crazy!!! Whew, though....emotional post!!! And I just listened to >> This Song<< which was.....really befitting and sad with this post!

Ryosuke paid careful attention to Kaoru's reaction as he spoke. In fact, it might have been comical, if their situation was anything less than serious. She was maintaining that smile of hers, the one he'd come to realize was not actually genuine, but the one she seemed to hide behind every time they ended up in this kind of situation. He wondered if she knew how to smile, really smile, at all. And then the moment of realization hit, and Kaoru's face changed quickly.

The smile drooped, extinguished like a small flame doused by a bucket of water.

Ryosuke felt something in him sink too, and he drew in a deep breath. This all wasn't something he hadn't expected, but had it really been too much to hope something would have changed? In fact, he was sure something had changed, back at the Halloween party. Kaoru had at least opened up to him more than she had in the past.

The expression had just barely finished crossing Kaoru's face before she decided she was finished with him. She disappeared behind her own front door, and Ryosuke heard clicks, seemingly millions of little clicks--Kaoru locking the door, he was sure--and his heart sank.

What had he been expecting? For her to just welcome him with open arms? Give him a hug and tell him good job for cutting his hair and hoping and trying for a new start?

He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing at the locked door, silent, still as stone, his mind and heart in two different, depressed places, his thoughts--for the time being--frozen on the one, solid fact that he would never get through to her. Never ever.
And then he heard the clicks again--the locks being undone on the door. And suddenly Kaoru was there in front of him once more, staring--no, glaring--him in the eye, her voice dangerously calm.

"Look, Tsukimori Ryosuke, I have no idea... how you knew... where I live......but I've got to ask you to leave. No, I'm telling you to leave. Or I'm going to have to call the police."

Maybe it was what Ryosuke expected, because the only thing that registered from her words was the sensation of returning heartbreak, not the police, not that she thought him a stalker, none of that. Then she was bowing, as if that made everything all better, and Ryosuke felt as though someone had his heart in a vice. He knew this was it, the end of this battle, his hopes crushed...

But as the girl began to close the door behind her again, something in him retaliated, and the next thing he knew, he'd managed one foot in the doorway, wedging the entrance open, and one hand was on the surface itself, preventing it from closing. Kaoru began pushing on the door harder, and Ryosuke groaned with the effort, but he maintained his hold. He'd already gone the extra step--now there was no going back. She probably would call the police. By now, all he could hope to do was convey what he'd come for. He wasn't going to force his way into her house.

"I can't understand you," he said softly, biting his lip again. He was no longer nervous. The sensation of depression which had descended over him once more had taken precedence, though he was managing to hold back tears again.

"Do you....do you know what it feels like when someone shuts you out? Someone you...." He hesitated. Should he say it? He'd say it--it was true about his relationship with his parents too, not just her. "...someone you love? When you care about them so much that they became the person you think about constantly. Worrying about them, wondering about them, wanting to always be there for them. And then they lock you out and refuse to give you the chance to find out where you went wrong, how to fix things, how to help....

"You get to stand off on the sidelines behind some invisible wall separating you and that person, and you watch them slowly destroy themselves inside because they won't let anyone in, and especially not you."

He paused and took a deep breath. "Then by the time it's too late, you've both reached the point of no return. Things are worse, you become more seclusive, especially to the ones who love you most. You become so used to bottling everything up inside and shutting others out that one day you decide you can't take it anymore, and then it's all over. I......" Ryosuke wiped his free hand across his eyes.

"I don't know where we went wrong, Kaoru....Kaoru-san. We had a rough start and we bickered, and I won't pretend I was anything less than an ass at times, but it was never to intentionally hurt you. You're holding onto something deep inside that has nothing to do with me, yet apparently does at the same time, and yet you won't tell me what it is. Instead of giving me the chance to fix it or to even understand why I shouldn't bother you anymore, you go on associating me with something that happened to you before I was even in your life. I won't....I won't lie and pretend I don't like you, but that's why I can't just let this go. It's eating me up inside knowing that I hurt you somehow, but not knowing how.

"But it hurts me even more watching you destroy yourself over whatever it is. I came here hoping to understand, and once again you're trying to close the door and shut me out without giving me a chance. Whatever happened to you....I want to understand. Don't carry it all by yourself--don't let it govern your life. You're smart, you're pretty--how can you expect anything good if you shut yourself off like this?"

He paused.

"I can't promise my feelings will change, but please just give me the chance to understand. Please. I'm.....I'm begging you."

And then Ryosuke did something even he didn't expect, as if once again his body was acting of its own accord. He removed his hand and foot from the door and slowly got down onto his hands and knees before her, bowing his head low. "I'm sorry. For what I've done, I'm sorry. But please give me one chance."

One thing was for sure. No matter what happened next, he had done what he'd set out to do. He had been honest in everything he had told the girl. Whether or not she gave him his chance.......he'd done all he could.

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: btw omg I have seen that movie and actually the scene towards the end on the beach has got to be one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever! XD I think it's interesting that this reminds you of that! Sorry about the suckiness and length of this post (I really need an editor). It's kinda been a long day for me... ^^;;


It was a losing battle. Kaoru knew it. Not only was she opposing a guy, but he was a big guy; a guy who apparently spent his most free time punching random people in the face... like all yankees did, right? If he wanted to overpower her, he could easily do it. He'd probably kick the door in at any moment. She'd become another story on the evening news, and, and--

"I can't understand you."

It was Tsukimori Ryosuke's voice, almost hauntingly low and quiet. It wasn't quite as intimidating as she thought his voice should be, but something about his voice piqued her attention.

"Do you....do you know what it feels like when someone shuts you out? Someone you... someone you love?"

Kaoru scrunched her nose at that. Wait, what? No really, this guy can't be serious...

The blonde started talking. And he didn't stop. After he'd said that, Kaoru couldn't see how would follow wouldn't be ridiculous... but in spite of herself, she listened attentively, something she didn't always do when she was in the company of those she considered her friends.

It seemed like she'd been talking forever when she the boy's tone made it evident that his speech was reaching an end.

"I can't promise my feelings will change, but please just give me the chance to understand. Please. I'm.....I'm begging you."

Kaoru watched with wide eyes as the boy stepped away from the door, knelt to the ground and -- he's not actually doing that, is he? But he was -- he prostrating himself completely on her front doorstep, forehead even to the concrete in a full-on dogeza pose.

"I'm sorry. For what I've done, I'm sorry. But please give me one chance."

As she stared at the boy on the ground, she started to shake. It wasn't because she was scared anymore... for some reason, that immediate fear of the boy had almost disappeared. She was just so darn upset. Kaoru felt like she'd deserved a proper apology for all the crap she'd been put through, but for some reason... this was...

It wasn't right. Kaoru couldn't bring herself to believe that this guy was being sincere. It just felt like it was some kind of joke, and he was making fun of her. Getting a cut and dye, then obtaining her address by likely shady means... As she tried to wrap her head around that, she noticed that he was on his knees and not trying to force his way into her house anymore.

Kaoru took a deep breath, and as slowly and as quietly as she could, closed the door.

She could only get the deadlock on the door this time before her legs finally buckled and she sank to her feet. She knew he was still on the other side. She knew he was still one the ground, looking dumb, trying to make her fell dumb...

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She wanted to call the police, but first she'd give this guy a little piece of her mind, because he was... so out of line.

"Who asked you?!" she shouted. She knew that, even if she didn't yell, Tsukimori Ryosuke would be able to hear her. She pounded on hit for emphasis before she continued on. "Who asked you to come to my house and preach to me? Yankee or not, you don't know me! How does a person get the audacity to go to someone's house and pull something like this?"

Kaoru rested her head against the door; this whole thing was making it really hurt. "I don't understand you! How dare you come to my house and raise a freaking fuss. Why do I owe you an explanation? Just because you've gotten carried away with some crazy notion of you and me, it doesn't mean..."

She trailed off. Sure, she flirted with him that one time, but he had to have realized that was a load of crock by now. Unless he was some kind of crazy... maybe he was?

But... why did he have to be right?

Why couldn't an average person had called her out like this? Why couldn't one of her friends have noticed how hard it was to get through every day like nothing was wrong? Why couldn't her parents be up front with her about everything that had happened? This delinquient kid she barely knew, the one that seemed like he had a wealth of his own problems wouldn't stop bothering her about hers.

That was something she didn't understand. "Why am I the wrong one here? I don't owe you anything, okay? So, stop acting like..."

Kaoru opened her phone and looked over it. A few nines and ones, that's it. That was all it would take. At this point, she figured that she could deal with trying to explain the situation to her mom -- and jeeze, her dad too -- but she didn't know how much more she could take of this guy, even if it was just talking. The way he went on and on and never left her alone... it was natural for her to get upset about it, right? It had more to do with him than her.

She examined her mobile's wallpaper. It was some of her in-group, dressed to the nines, at one of better restaurants in town. Kaoru still remembered that day vividly. She had plenty of fun that day... didn't she? She went to parties and had fun like normal people do, because people can still do that after bad things happen to them. And it was a pretty big thing, so it's understandable that she still wasn't quite over it. And it made perfect sense that she blamed the kind of people that made that happen; people who did all kinds of bad things to others...

...Right?

"I... I do know how it feels." Kaoru was so upset she was shaking, though there was this lump in her throat that was growing so large she couldn't speak much louder than a whisper. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you came all this way to hear? Is that good enough for you?"

She closed her eyes. She really didn't care if she got an answer from Tsukimori Ryosuke or not. She didn't want some type of confirmation from a loony yankee stalker. The was the last thing she wanted, or needed. Instead, she found her hands balled up into fists, her teeth gritting together. She'd been holding this back for so long, but now, she'd reached her breaking point and she just had to...

Kaoru buried her face in her hands started sobbing.

[Tsukimori Ryosuke]

OOC: That movie. XD But I love how it had a legit storyline and really held you throughout, despite it being 4 hours long. It certainly didn't feel that long, and Nissy (despite the erm....ugh, pervvy stuff, which had me looking away at points, even if it was Nissy ><), was fantasmo!!! This post doesn't remind me of the hentai stuff in there, but more along the line of Yuu and Hikari's character (why do I always forget her name??? XD)'s relationship! And no worries about the post! Mine was a bit....><

Ryosuke wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been on the ground on his hands and knees, fighting hard to keep tears at bay, digging his fingers into the cool, hard earth of the front lawn. But he didn't need to look up when he heard the silence, then the soft click of the front door closing. He....

Well that was it then. That was it, wasn't it?

Ryosuke felt the vice tighten around his heart, and he felt sick inside. He wouldn't pretend like he'd been the best person in the world, certainly not the best guy. Yeah, he'd played around, he'd dated a lot of girls, and even though he prided himself on respecting boundaries and the like, he'd still done not-so-nice things, like bringing adult DVDs to Nippori's. But he wasn't going to pretend he was some great guy, and he hadn't. He'd given Kaoru the honest truth.

And yet she was too cold. Too sullen, too alone, and too unwilling to want to even begin to try to trust him. In a way, he could understand, but on the other hand, he no longer knew how he could convey to her that he wasn't the Yankee he'd once been. Tumbling had begun that change in him and Kaoru had finished it. If he'd really wanted to remain a Yankee, he would have ditched Wataru and joined with Akabane, he would have been happy to help those criminals lift someone's boat back before he'd joined the tumbling team, he wouldn't have tried to get out of that job he'd been tricked into, he wouldn't have caused a problem in the Arcade fighting off unknown gangsters or spending time with someone like...well, someone like Kaneko or Yuuta or anyone on the Tumbling team if he was the same hot-headed Yankee he'd once been. He wasn't a Yankee anymore.

Though, Ryosuke wondered. Was it because he'd been a Yankee at all? Or was there something else? He'd only ever seen it as such because Kaoru had been quick to point out his blonde hair and shame him for it, make it known that she saw it as his Yankee trademark and that he was the same kind of scum that she thought all Yankees were. But she didn't know Wataru....he wasn't scum. She didn't know Nippori or Kiyama, and neither of them were scum either. She'd already built all the walls up around her, and she'd built them well. No one, not even someone that had her full trust, probably, was going to break them down.

It took Ryosuke a good moment to realize that he was still on the ground, gazing down at the solid earth below, and that was when Kaoru's voice came back to him from behind the door. Determined to hate, as it always seemed. He began to wonder if she had any real friends or family in her life at all....He had never seen someone so hateful except for the brutal Yankees and gangsters he'd encountered. But though their hatred was certainly of a different kind, Kaoru's was no less stronger.

"Who asked you?! Who asked you to come to my house and preach to me? Yankee or not, you don't know me! How does a person get the audacity to go to someone's house and pull something like this?"

Ryosuke didn't move. She was saying it herself now....He didn't know her. He only knew something was wrong. She just wouldn't let him get to know her and try to help.

"I don't understand you! How dare you come to my house and raise a freaking fuss. Why do I owe you an explanation? Just because you've gotten carried away with some crazy notion of you and me, it doesn't mean..."

There was silence for a moment. Ryosuke went back to studying the ground, trying to even out his breathing. Every word she was speaking, though muffled from behind the door, he weighed carefully, trying to see if he'd missed anything. When she mentioned this being all about his "crazy notions" of her and him, he felt hesitant. Was that what it was all about? Yankees and....maybe not liking boys in general? But he'd seen the way she'd been with Mizusawa....that was nothing like her relationship with him. She, well...she did seem to trust Mizusawa in some ways, at least, even if it was a pleasant facade to cover up the troubled one underneath...

"Why am I the wrong one here? I don't owe you anything, okay? So, stop acting like..."

Ryosuke knew Kaoru wouldn't be able to hear him properly, but he shifted backwards onto his knees, resting his hands on the ground. "You don't owe me anything. But don't you think you owe yourself?" he murmured under his breath.

More silence, and then...

"I... I do know how it feels." Kaoru paused. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you came all this way to hear? Is that good enough for you?"

And then he heard it. The sobbing. Kaoru sobbing. He'd never imagined he would have to hear that kind of crying from her, and he never wanted to.

Ryosuke crawled forward suddenly, his own tears starting to break, and he pressed his hands up tenderly against the front door as though the gesture could somehow comfort Kaoru on the other side. More than anything, he wanted to just be in there and hug her, stop her crying. He hadn't come here to make her cry, but he also hadn't come to her place with the expectation of making himself cry either. Maybe this was what they both needed...

In the end, he said the first thing that came to mind. "Then you see....we're...." He wiped his face. "...we're not so different after all.

"And after everything is said and done, even if this is the end between the two of us, I...I want to go home knowing that I've done something to help you, really help, and I don't want you to cry anymore." He sank down in front of the door, though his hands remained up against the cool surface. "Then I think.....I think everything will start to get better. Just gotta have faith it will."

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: Sorry this took a while -- I lost my first attempt at it in some saving error... :/ And lolz, my character is so mean... and likely perpetuating this craziness! And I think the character's name is Youko or something?


Even as she felt the sobs mounting in her throat, the only thing that Kaoru could think of was how stupid she was for getting so upset about stupid stuff because of this stupid guy. It always worked out like that. He would do something dumb, she'd become incensed. He wouldn't stop, and she'd go over the edge. And then it was like he was trying to make her feel bad about it.

This happened every single time.

Why did he always manage to get to her like that? It's like he had some special guide, "Pissing Off Uchida Kaoru For Dummies" or something like that. It wasn't fair. Are all yankees that way, or is just was that just Tsukimori Ryosuke's special talent?

Her sobs were starting to quiet when she heard his voice come from the other side of the door once again.

"Then you see....we're... we're not so different after all.

"And after everything is said and done, even if this is the end between the two of us, I...I want to go home knowing that I've done something to help you, really help, and I don't want you to cry anymore."

At the break in the boy's speech, Kaoru found herself listening hard to see if he would continue, annoyed that her bawling still lingered as wet-sounding hiccups. She probably looked so pathetic right now... not like she cared what that guy thought, but--

Again, she tried to listen hearing the yankee's voice on the other side of the door. "Then I think.....I think everything will start to get better. Just gotta have faith it will."

"You're wrong!" Kaoru yelled so loud she startled herself. Almost choking on some stray sobs, she started again in a quieter, but still unrelenting voice. "Just... really wrong..."

Deep breaths.

How could he talk like that, like he was so sure of things. Like he was so smart? Like he knew how things worked out... Maybe the way things worked out in gangsterland was different, and that was why he was able to say those things.

Kaoru looked turned around to look at the door, as if she could see the yankee's face right through it. If he wasn't who he was, she'd open the door again so she could look him dead in the eyes as she'd speak.

"I'm not like you at all..."

He was another one of those buffoons that ran around town, fighting and stealing and even worse things. Kaoru went to school every day and studied and did club stuff and tried to be nice to everyone she met. Mostly. She'd become a contributing member of society, while this joke -- Kaoru didn't know what he did or what would become of him. Moreover, she could care less to what might have happened to the yankee to make him go all... whatever the heck he was now, but it couldn't excuse him being like that. Kaoru didn't try to make excuses for things.

"...there was never a 'two of us' to begin with..."

He was just this guy she kept running into... at least, that's what she thought in the beginning. You can't bump into someone at their own house -- this guy was some kind of delusional stalker, like those big stories on the news every now and then... they take pictures when you're not looking and know everything about you and... at the thought, Kaoru shuddered.

"...and you're not helping at all."

If Kaoru was completely honest with herself, she'd admit that she'd been kinda screwed up for years. But everyone's screwed up in their own way, right? Some people just knew how to deal with it. Kaoru knew how to deal with it.

Except when that yankee came around.

They hadn't crossed paths that many times, but after every single one of their encounters, Kaoru felt worse after meeting the blonde. Like now. She was crying. She never cried. This guy was somehow bringing up stuff that she spent every second of every day trying not to think about. And she okay every other day. She didn't cry. She cried when this guy came around. He seemed to know exactly what to say or do to make her upset and he was getting better at it every single time and...

...it was like he was doing something to her, to her head. Kaoru didn't like it in the slightest.

"Why don't you just stop?"

Kaoru leaned against the door more; dealing with Tsukimori Ryosuke was so tiring. She was just tired of it.

[Tsukimori Ryosuke]

OOC: It's okay, I hope the computer is doing okay now! And yeah, Ryo's head is spinning! >< Hahaha, but also, I think you're right about it being Youko!!

Kaoru's voice seemed to come back to Ryosuke ten-fold in volume.

"You're wrong!" There was a moment, more sobbing, and then in a smaller voice, "Just... really wrong..."

Ryosuke hesitated for a moment, still pressed up against the door, his mind focused solely on who lingered on the other side, still sobbing audibly enough for him to hear. He wasn't aware of the lady taking her dog on an otherwise innocent stroll, watching him as though he was a loony, or the biker who rode by and did a double take at the odd sight, who had to swerve last minute once he turned around and realized he was about collide with the woman with the dog.

"I'm not like you at all..."

How did she know who he was? She...she said she was nothing like him, but she didn't know him at all. She assumed he was something, she seemed too eager to believe he matched that ugly stereotype of Yankee she'd created in her mind to define all Yankees--whether former Yankees or current Yankees or whatever. They were all the same. A Nobel Peace Prize winner who had once been a Yankee would probably maintain the same biased view in Kaoru's eyes. And considering Ryosuke was quite far from ever hoping to win a Nobel Peace Prize, he was sure this mold Kaoru had created for him would never break unless somehow, in some way, she herself broke it.

But she definitely didn't know him.

Maybe she was quick to blame him because she needed someone to blame. And yet Ryosuke knew that this was what he needed to do for her, whether it hurt now or not, because if he didn't, he wasn't sure anyone would. Certainly not Kaoru herself, and probably not the other people she encountered who hadn't seemed to incur her wrath as much as he had and thus been able to see through her facade of "being fine."

"...there was never a 'two of us' to begin with..."

Ryosuke waited a moment. She wasn't done.

"...and you're not helping at all."

He took a deep breath.

"Why don't you just stop?"

"Is it that I'm not helping...? Or that you won't let me? You won't let anyone." Ryosuke bit a lip again. There were so many things he could say and so many things he wanted to say, but he could see now wasn't the time.

"Kaoru, you won't understand it from my side because I'm nothing but garbage to you. If....if you knew who I really was, if you could understand how I felt about things, see things....you...well, I know you'd think differently about me. But I guess that's not really the problem anymore. Whether you like me or hate me from now on....you'll make up your mind about that and I doubt I can change it. And I didn't come here with that intention. I came here because I wanted to help you." He laughed slightly. "I mean.......I hate my doctor, but I won't lie and pretend he hasn't helped me every time I've gotten sick. I hate my.....my....parents, if that's even the right word for them, but I guess I probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for them. So I guess what I want to say is this...."

He took another deep breath, curling his fingers against the cool surface of the front door.

"You don't have to like me. Hate me as much as you want, if that's what makes you happy. But just let someone in, let someone help you, okay? And...and if you'll give me that much, I want to be that someone."

Despite how emotional he could be, suddenly the well of tears had dried up and he was feeling oddly detached. As if something inside of him was measuring how much of the conversation he himself and the girl on the other side of the door could really take, as if this was their limit.
Ryosuke reached into his pocket, fishing out his wallet and his cellphone, which had a kind of miniature pen attached to it. After scrawling out the mess of numbers that made up his cell phone number on a piece of paper, he slipped it tenderly under the front door and slowly forced himself back to his feet.

Today....there was no more he could do. He didn't feel accomplished, he didn't feel happy, but he didn't feel sad either so much as lost. There was no feeling in him anymore because he no longer knew how to feel. Just that in the back of his mind, he knew he wanted to keep trying to help her, had to, and if she would let him, he was going to. He wasn't sure how much more of her bitter rejection he could handle, but he would try his best, if only because he was sure that her reasons for rejecting him and the rest of the world were based on mistruths.

And one day she'd have to realize the truth, right?

Ryosuke hesitated a moment.

"When you're ready to talk to someone, I promise I'll be ready too."

That was all he could do. Not wasting a second more, Ryosuke took one more look at the front door, as if he could see through to the girl on the other side, then moved back through the front lawn for where he'd left his bike, feeling oddly as though somewhere along this strange journey, he'd left his body behind and was walking around now as little more than empty shell.

He'd go home.

OOC: We're supposed to continue this elsewhere, right? ^^;;

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: I apologize for this post! In the end, I felt like I couldn't add a lot without this getting really tangential... but you're right, continuing thread will be forthcoming!


The yankee's voice came back quick, though a lot more calmly than Kaoru's had been.

"Is it that I'm not helping...? Or that you won't let me? You won't let anyone."

Why did that matter? It wasn't his business, and he should stop trying to make it his business.

"Kaoru, you won't understand it from my side because I'm nothing but garbage to you. If....if you knew who I really was, if you could understand how I felt about things, see things....you...well, I know you'd think differently about me."

The girl grabbed her head again. What the hell could she been mistaken about? This was the guy she'd seen sneak about her school, the guy who'd berated her and yanked her around, the guy who'd somehow gotten her address to come and end up harassing her. That was fact.

"But I guess that's not really the problem anymore. Whether you like me or hate me from now on....you'll make up your mind about that and I doubt I can change it. And I didn't come here with that intention. I came here because I wanted to help you."

That's when the boy on the other side of the boy stopped to laugh. Despite her problems, the fact that someone like him had found her... pitiable enough to seek her out like this and supposedly help her... But instead of continuing with that thought, Kaoru realized just how tired she was. The crying had really wiped her out, and every now and then, a sniffle still made its way out. She repositioned herself, squatting with her legs to her chest, resting her head on her knees. This guy talked too much. It took so much just to listen...

"I mean.......I hate my doctor, but I won't lie and pretend he hasn't helped me every time I've gotten sick. I hate my.....my....parents, if that's even the right word for them, but I guess I probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for them. So I guess what I want to say is this...."

Kaoru sniffled, closing her eyes, and trying to wrap her head around whatever metaphor the yankee was spewing.

And still, he went on...

"You don't have to like me. Hate me as much as you want, if that's what makes you happy. But just let someone in, let someone help you, okay? And...and if you'll give me that much, I want to be that someone."

Still torn over the prospect of this yankee being condescending to her, and feeling absolutely exhausted, Kaoru found her ears perking up at a faint rustling through the door. Was he really on the ground that whole time? And was he finally about to leave?

"When you're ready to talk to someone, I promise I'll be ready too."

Why did he actually sound kind of... nice at that part? Was this the making her feel bad thing again?

Kaoru shook her head; she had to stop thinking like that. Better yet, was that guy gone yet? Figuring that she'd check the window again, she placed a hand to the floor to heave herself up. But she noticed a small slip beside her, where it hadn't been before. Her glasses had been rendered useless from the dried smear of tears on the lenses, so she removed them, and picked up the paper and brought it just before her eyes to make out what was written on it.

It was... a phone number.

...his phone number?

She didn't quite know what was it about seeing that paper, that triggered something in her, or if she was just so tired and confused and upset... but Kaoru found she couldn't do anything but ball up the paper in her hand, bow her head and cry to herself long after she heard the footsteps of the boy leave her front doorstep.

CLOSED