Does this even make sense?

[Mizusawa Taku]

So, I really want to tweet the D-boys official page about how much I loved the show Amerika, and this is what I came up with at around 6AM in the morning. XD If someone can let me know if it reads okay, I would really appreciate it! I think I must sound like I'm rambling or something, haha! First is the Japanese and then below it is what I was trying to say (in English).

こんにちは！私の名前はAlexです! アメリカ人の柳下大とD-boysのファンです! 私は金曜日『アメリカ』を見ました.感動しました! 演技と照明と音楽...一切は素晴らしいでした! 本当に! 全部の私は見た実演の中に,『アメリカ』が一番大好きでした! とっても情熱的だったので,『アメリカ』の終わりに泣いていましたよ.みんなさんのがんばりにありがとうございました! また,感動しました. Please continue to do your best! ^_^

Hello! My name is Alex! I am an American fan of Tomo Yanagishita and D-boys! On Friday I went to see "Amerika." I was so impressed! The acting and the lights and the music...Everything was amazing! Really! Of all the shows I have ever seen, I love "Amerika" the most. Because it was so emotional, I was crying at the end of it! Thank you so much for everyone's hard work! Again, I was so impressed. Please continue to do your best!

[Kiyama Ryuichiro]

Keep in mind that I AM TERRIBLE AT JAPANESE. I am so serious. I'm probably wrong... but here are some suggestions:

私の名前はAlexです!
->Alexと申します。
～と申します is a polite way of saying "I am ~".

演技と照明と音楽...
->演技や照明や音楽...
The particle と is like "and", while the particle や is similar, but implies more ("things like X and Y and...").

素晴らしいでした
->素晴らしかったです
You conjugate い-adjectives in past tense as ～かったです。

全部の私は見た実演の中に
->それぞれの見た実演で『アメリカ』が一番好きでした！
This sentence was hard... I know what you're trying to say... but what you had definitely sounded really off. MAYBE this is better?

とっても情熱的だったので,『アメリカ』の終わりに泣いていましたよ
->情熱を持つほど終わりまでに泣かされましたのです。
"(It) had so much passion that it made me cry at (by) the end."

みんなさんのがんばりにありが とうございました!
->みんなさん、努力ありがとうございました！
This is basically saying the same thing but I think it's a better choice of words.

***And if you need to cut down on your character count, remember that Japanese is very contextual so you don't need ALL of the 私s or mention the name of the play so much.

I hope that helps... and sorry if any of this is terribly wrong! D:

Also I don't why it's going wonky and not showing some of the characters... @_@

[Mizusawa Taku]

@nasenaruqueenアメリカの柳下大とD-boysのファンです!金曜日『アメリカ』を見まし た。感動しました!演技や照明や音楽,一切は素晴らしかったです!それぞれの見た実演で『アメリカ』が一番好きでした!情熱を持つほど終わりまでに泣かされましたのです。みんなさん,努力ありがとうございました!