Get Outta My Head (Open)

[Mizusawa Taku]

ooc: Emo topic of the day...LQTM... Outfit Here

Mizusawa had just completed his part-time job for the day and was feeling overwhelmed, mentally and physically. The week had been a tough one, and this Saturday had been no exception. Three tests in class, tumbling practice after school every day, and on one of the only two days that he could have a little time to recuperate, he was now working part time as a janitor, dashing back and forth both ends of the massive Washizu Academy.

But it wasn't just over-working himself that was grating so heavily on his mind. It was...everything else too. Even more importantly, his feelings for a certain other.

He constantly thought about Kiyama. It wasn't like he had the chance to stop thinking about the other boy. Kiyama was in his class, after all, and over the weekends when he was working, oftentimes he'd run out of other things to think about. It was just a fact that when you really liked someone, they were constantly the one on your mind. And usually that could be a good thing, although Mizusawa wasn't so sure about that right now.

Sighing heavily, he sank to the ground, resting back against a stone wall as he removed his fake glasses and closed his eyes against the sun overhead. He had retreated to a convenient little wooded area just on the outskirts of the Washizu sports area. Since most of the students spent their time indoors, usually he could come here to rest during his lunch break, or relax if he didn't want to head home right after work. The only people who really used the field anyway were the school's soccer team, but even they were not out for practice on this fairly nice day.

He kept his eyes closed as he spread his legs into a more comfortable position. Maybe he could try to fall asleep here. Even though Kiyama oftentimes made it into his dreams, the chances of thinking about him there were far slimmer than they were when he was awake. It was agonizing that he couldn't get the other off his mind, especially when he knew he stood no chance with the Yankee.

But he really admired him...His height, muscle...the way he made their school uniform look really good, even if it was standard in Japan...and his eyes...

Stop it! A voice in the back of his head reprimanding him for falling back into a Kiyama-lapse without realizing it. He sighed again.

"Ugh..." he groaned, turning slightly onto his side. "Just get out of my head, please..."

"Not sure I want to be in there anyway," came a completely unexpected response from above him. This was followed by the sound of something down between his outstretched legs.

Startled, Mizusawa's eyes shot open, finding that what had made the thumping noise was actually an untouched, still-wrapped onigiri. He stared at the food for a moment, then looked up--shielding his eyes from the sun to see who had approached him in such a random place. A place that had become his, in some respects.

[Uchida Kaoru]

It was a nice day. Too nice, insisted some of her peers at the suggestion of eating lunch outside. The sun was too bright and their skin too precious and fair.

Kaoru didn't really care about that kind of thing... though she did smear some SPF 75 all over herself daily. It was just part of the game.

In any case, she was literally covered, so she boldly found herself strolling between the baseball and soccer fields that afternoon. The sun was warm and bright, and the distant sounds of seabirds was much more pleasant to her than that afternoon's gossip. Kaoru hated gossip. She heard it walking to school and between classes, and she would hear it on her trip home and probably read some texts about it that interrupted her homework. Day after day of that simply got tiring. When she got back, she could just explain it away as her suddenly feeling ill and ducking into the nurse's office or something. Then all would be well.

Eager to get started on her meal, Kaoru reached into her lunch bag and slipped open the top to her lunchbox and got a peek of what she'd be eating today. On top was a wrapped riceball loosely covered in seaweed paper. Kaoru grinned.

Yes... simple carbs... do want.

But Kaoru found that she couldn't completely turn off the "girly mode", and ended up making a beeline for the first spot of shade that she saw. That ended up being an area past the soccer field, amongst some trees. As she approached she quickly noticed there was someone else already there. Although she didn't particularly feel like talking to anyone at the moment, curiosity caused her to keep moving in the direction a sprawled-out figure that was not wearing some kind of uniform -- not the usual one, nor a sports outfit...

"Hey!"

Glasses kid! It had been a while since she'd seen him; in fact she'd been wondering if he'd been caught for some other infringement and terminated by the school faculty. She didn't know why, but she was happy to see him... but not like this.

She'd gotten within centimeters of the boy, but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes were closed, and his face was twisted... in come kind of distress? Whatever glasses kid was thinking about, it seemed to be pretty serious. She watched for a moment as the boy rolled in the grass, muttering to himself.

"Just get out of my head, please..."

Kaoru licked her lips in thought before answering. "Not sure I want to be in there anyway," she said, smiling. For a second, she wondered if he really was thinking about her. Considering that they'd only spoken once, that seemed very unlikely... but she couldn't help but think of last her encounter with his... friend, right? That blonde delinquent with the funny hair. The one that seemed like he had some kind of interest in her.

There was no way. Did he...? Could he possibly...

Kaoru cringed.

Shaking her head, she turned to the boy below her, replacing that smile. Surely, she wasn't looking at a stalker! He looked normal enough. Besides the fact he worked at the rival high school had to disguise himself, of course... but most of the town was pretty poor anyway. It wasn't a big thing. And that showed that he was a hard-working, grounded, reliable type! So the company he apparently kept... it didn't mean much... right?

Kaoru reached into her bag and dropped her riceball on the ground by his legs. She then smoothed out her skirt and took a seat beside him. "You're not thinking about anything nasty, are you?"

Then suddenly, it hit Kaoru that she didn't really want to be alone; it was just that she didn't want to be with the people she usually hung out with. She didn't really have a reason to fake it around glasses kid; it was something that made her feel a bit at ease... a rare feeling when she was on school grounds. Maybe a bit of light-hearted, teasing conversation would help the boy beside her feel a bit better, too.

"That's what guys do, right? Think about nasty things all the time? I didn't interrupt something, did I?"

Kaoru took her chopsticks and clapped her hands together in a quick thanks before beginning to pick through her food. Her mom actually wasn't that good of a cook, though her food always looked the best. It was funny to think of just how much her life was about keeping up appearances... Looked to the glasses kid again, and smiled a little bigger. "Go on, eat!"

Even if her mom couldn't cook, she could make good riceballs. Maybe that would help the glasses kid cheer up. He looked like he needed it.

[Mizusawa Taku]

ooc: Oh gosh...This post of yours was absolutely epic, Kinolee, but there was one perfectly-placed typo in there that had me laughing for quite a bit. I'll let you see if you can find it, because I'm too embarrassed to admit to how perverted my mind is... )

Also, I find it fun irony that she wonders if Mizu is thinking about her...because technically he is, since she's played by the same person who plays Kiyama...but AHEM, anyway...

ic:

It was Kaoru. The girl from the Washizu tumbling team's headquarters. The one who had both startled and then saved him and Ryosuke from getting in trouble for being where they were. Looking down again at the riceball she had tossed him, he felt a tad confused. What was she doing here? Had she known to find him here, or was this some kind of random luck?

"Ah...hi..." he answered her, giving way to a slight smile at the one on her face, despite how distressed he'd felt only a moment before. That distress was still there, of course, but at least now he had some kind of distraction. He picked up the onigiri that had been dropped in front of him and held it up--mentaiko onigiri. It looked homemade, and delicious. "I can have this?" he asked the girl, wondering why she was tossing what seemed to be her lunch at him.

"You're not thinking about anything nasty, are you?"

The girl was settling herself down in front of him now, as though she were planning to eat here. Wait...was she? Mizusawa could only watch, and he'd nearly missed the question she'd asked. Reflecting on her words, he felt a blush reddening his face, wondering if his thoughts about Kiyama could be considered nasty--they probably could--and also wondering if Kaoru had some kind of mind-reading powers.

"Ah, no..." he answered, unsure if that was really true or not. He stared down at the wrapped onigiri in his hands, feeling a tad uncomfortable around the girl now.

"That's what guys do, right? Think about nasty things all the time? I didn't interrupt something, did I?"

Mizusawa looked up at her again, not quite meeting her eyes, and wondering if that was supposed to be some kind of joke, or if she was just saying what she believed. It was hard to distinguish with her.

Before he could think of a good enough way to answer her, however, the girl had already pulled out a set of chopsticks, said grace, and began picking at her food. He didn't realize he was just watching her, lost in thought, until he saw her turn to him and grin.

"Go on, eat!"

He paused, regaining full consciousness again. "Oh," he said quickly, staring back own at the food still in his hands. "Thanks." Tugging at the wrapping around the onigiri, he held on carefully to the paper-like seaweed that surrounded the actual riceball, uttered a quick "Itadakimasu", and then bit down into the food.

It was delicious, maybe one of the best rice balls he had ever eaten. And the truth was, he'd never been very fond of mentaiko, but now this was just...

"Umai!"

He couldn't help himself from exclaiming out loud how good the food was. Quickly downing the first bite, he gave a surprised look over at Kaoru. "Did you make this?" He was intent to tell her that with cooking skills like these, Kaoru's family could open their own restaurant or shop--but then it occurred to him just where Kaoru attended school, and he wondered if that would be a simpleton thing to say.

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: OMG, so I just found the typo, and well... OMG. Yeah. But I finally got a word processor with a better spell check so I hope I won't be making as many mistakes like that, lolz. Seriously, Alex... OMGWTFBBQ. XD Also, lolz @ irony


Even after he picked up the riceball, the glasses kid seemed to still be out of it until Kaoru assured him that it was okay to try the snack she'd offered him. And when he finally did...

"Umai!"

Kaoru looked up from her lunch, surprised at the enthused response. It was just a riceball, but she was sure that it was good; it even had some kind of roe or something in it and she'd been excited about it herself. Seeing the boy so happy from such a simple thing made Kaoru happy as well. She smiled at him in response.

"Did you make this?" he asked in between bites.

"Oh, no. I couldn't cook to save my life." She paused for a moment. It was something she wasn't good at, and she hated not being good at things. She'd have to rectify that, though not through the direction of either of her parents. "To be honest, my mother really can't either, but it's hard to mess up a riceball, huh?"

Kaoru shrugged and watched the boy for a moment. Glasses kid seemed to be really into eating, so she decided to continue.

"I guess we eat out a lot because of that, so she's not good at making all those fancy things." Her dad could afford it, her mother liked avoiding meal preparation if she could, and as much as Kaoru hated going to flashy restaurants she loved to eat. A bit more than a girl like her should, but that was a moot point. "Anyway, I'm glad you like it."

She grinned at glasses kid before turning back to her lunch. Most of it had required actual preparation, which gave her mother plenty of room to mess things up. She cautiously pinched a tough-looking brown sliver in a pile in the corner of the tray. It was some kind of... fermented fish... thing. Or was it meat? In fact, she couldn't tell if it was meat or fish... though technically, fish was meat, so maybe the question was irrelevant?

Enough of that.

Kaoru looked to the side to see the currently-glasses-less kid eagerly munching on the riceball, looking far more content than she thought a riceball ought to make a person. Either he was that hungry, or he thought the snack was that good. The latter certainly couldn't be true, so she thought about offering the him some of the rest of her lunch, but found herself worried that he'd find out how truly horrible her family was at cooking, he'd think less of her, and -- why the hell was nervous about this kid judging her?

Still, Kaoru didn't really know what to talk about with the boy... the only connection they seemed to have was being their respective school's sub par gymnastics teams; though men's team tumbling and women's team tumbling were already pretty different. And Kaoru wasn't in the mood for talking about the sport. It would probably... no, definitely make her think to how much her own team sucked and how spoiled the boys were in contrast... two facts that would make her blood boil at any time of the day.

On the other hand, Kaoru was very, very curious about what the boy had been thinking about before she had approached. She toyed with the idea of asking him, but if it really was as distressing as he looked minutes ago...

Popping a bit of pickled vegetable into her mouth, she turned to the glasses kid and addressed him in between her chews.

"So what's up with you? I haven't seen you for a while. How's life?"

When in doubt, go for the smalltalk.

[Mizusawa Taku]

"Oh, no. I couldn't cook to save my life." She paused for a moment. It was something she wasn't good at, and she hated not being good at things. She'd have to rectify that, though not through the direction of either of her parents. "To be honest, my mother really can't either, but it's hard to mess up a riceball, huh?"

Mizusawa listend to her carefully, though he didn't exactly answer. The riceball was really too good. And to be quite honest, he was sure even making a riceball took some kind of talent. There was no way he could make a really decent one, anyway.

"I guess we eat out a lot because of that, so she's not good at making all those fancy things." Her dad could afford it, her mother liked avoiding meal preparation if she could, and as much as Kaoru hated going to flashy restaurants she loved to eat. A bit more than a girl like her should, but that was a moot point. "Anyway, I'm glad you like it."

Mizusawa downed the bit of rice and fish that he'd been chewing, then smiled genuinely at her. "Well, thank you. I really appreciate it. Otherwise I would have waited until I got home to eat, so this is a nice surprise." He was happy to see a grin on her face before she went back to her own lunch, and for a moment he stared at her, curious about what kind of person she was. She seemed to be opening up to him, which was weird, considering she didn't seem like a very open person when they'd first met. At least, he'd thought her sudden openness between him and Ryosuke that first time had all been faked. But maybe he was wrong. Or maybe he was thinking about it way too much. Letting his gaze wander over to the still-empty school field, he took another bite out of the onigiri, falling back into his thoughts.

"So what's up with you? I haven't seen you for a while. How's life?"

He'd been about to take another bite out of the now nearly-gone onigiri, but he stopped, wondering how he should answer her. Recalling what had been plaguing his mind only a moment before, he felt a stab of pain in his heart. Something in him wanted to just spill his feelings for Kiyama, tell her all about how stressed he'd been feeling because of it recently, right up until the moment she'd joined him for lunch. But of course this wasn't the time or the place, nor did he know Kaoru well enough that he felt that comfortable sharing such personal information, especially when he had yet to tell anyone on his team about his...preferences.

Then again, Kaoru was a fairly interesting girl. She didn't seem much like the others he had met, and somewhere in the back of his heart, he had a vague feeling that she wouldn't go telling everyone his secrets if he'd decied to share with her. Hell, maybe she coul even give him some tips on how to break it to Ki--

No...Stop thinking about him. He suddenly felt stupid that his mind had yet again, even in the company of another, returned to that train of thought, and he quickly struggled with himself to find something else to say to her.

"A-ah..." he began, looking down at the rest of the onigiri in his hand. "It's okay, I guess. The team is working hard and doing well. I'm sure yours is too?"

Turning the conversation back to Kaoru was a good thing. He had very little to share about himself, and he was more comfortable this way. And of course, he didn't mind hearing how the girl was doing. Unlike the girls in his class, she seemed genuine and likable enough.

[Uchida Kaoru]

"A-ah..." He stuttered, before beginning again. "It's okay, I guess. The team is working hard and doing well. I'm sure yours is too?"

Kaoru briefly glanced over the glasses kid again. Was he not a talker? Or maybe he didn't feel much up to conversation right now.

She specifically remembered that meet at the beginning of the year. Everyone did, really, for two reasons: Karasumori's boys team had made absolute fools of themselves, and the appearance of the tall yankee with the bright red hair.

Kaoru then thought to the next time she'd seen them perform. There were more yankees that time, glasses kid's bleached blonde friend included. The difference from what they'd seen between that time and the first competition of the year... it was amazing. They still weren't proper competition for the Washizu boys, but they'd come very far.

Something must have happened to help them improve that much in such a short period of time. It wasn't normal to get that good that fast. The only difference that Kaoru, or any of her teammates could see... was that they did have yankees. In fact, half the team was some kind of delinquent, last she'd heard. But they seemed to be doing fine...

...while her team was sucking all the same.

It kinda pissed her off.

Kaoru sighed, thinking back to the boy's question. "Of course," she deadpanned.

She looked over the field. When she thought about it, there were quite a few things that had been on her own mind. They were things that she couldn't talk to her usual friends about... not with any depth, anyway.

But maybe glasses kid, here... he could help her out.

"Look, I don't know how to say this, but..."

As she spoke, she started arranging the compartments of her lunch box and placing them back in her bag. Lunch was a disappointment. But it was something she was used to by now.

"You know, that thing that happened a while back? In the boy's team office? I'm not sure how I came off, but I think..."

Finally closing all her things in her bag and zipping it up, she turned to the boy and smiled.

"I don't think we had a real introduction before. I'm Uchida Kaoru."

With that, she held out a hand to him. It was probably a weird gesture, but she hoped it came off well. She meant well. Maybe this time, she'd to a better job at being convincing.

Kaoru liked this kid with the glasses, but...

[Mizusawa Taku]

"Of course," she deadpanned.

Mizusawa looked up from the last of the onigiri at the sound of her voice, thinking she hadn't sounded all that sure about her words. And right now she had looked away from him, seemed to be looking out over the Washizu sports field. Mizusawa stared at her for a moment. Had she made it up? Was her team having a problem or something? He doubted that, of course. Though the Karasumori female tumbling team was actually one of the best--if not the best--in this area, he knew Washizu's female team couldn't be bad at all. He opened his mouth, wondering if he should say such a thing to comfort her, it looked like she was ready to speak again.

"Look, I don't know how to say this, but..."

Mizusawa stared at her, confused now. Was she about to reveal something important...personal...to him? If so, why him, of all people? They didn't even know each other all that well. Setting down the rest of the onigiri in it's wrapping, he gave her his full attention, still wearing that confused and now concerned look.

"You know, that thing that happened a while back? In the boy's team office? I'm not sure how I came off, but I think..." She seemed to be trying to busy herself with rearranging her lunchbox as she spoke. Though he tried at first to watch her face as she spoke, he soon found himself distracted by her motions.

What was she trying to tell him?

Soon she finished packing up her lunch box, before closing it and turning to him again. Mizusawa's eyes met hers as she smiled at him. A sudden change of heart?

He was completely confused. It had sounded like she'd been about to reveal something important to him, and then...she just smiled. But he didn't want to make her feel bad, and he also didn't want to push her to say anything if she didn't want to. After all, they were still strangers, and he wasn't going to be sharing with her the silly feelings he'd been having only a moment before as well. Trying to return the gesture, he forced a smile to his own face.

"I don't think we had a real introduction before. I'm Uchida Kaoru."

He paused for a moment, staring from her face to her hand, still confused. Maybe he didn't really understand Kaoru that well. She reminded him of some kind of wandering, lost-soul type. At least, the way she was acting. But didn't that make her seem a lot different from other girls? At least she wasn't trying to be someone else...

"Mizusawa Taku. Nice to meet you," he told her, reaching out to shake her hand and give her a warm smile. Even though she was a gymnast like him, her hand still felt soft. After a moment, he let go of it to lean back against the wall behind him, settling back in and picking up the last piece of onigiri to finish it finally.

"Do...you like going to school here? At Washizu?" he asked, thinking this over as he stared out over the massive sports field again. He always admired and envied what the students here had compared to his own school, but he also found it relaxing to just rest here and look out at the field. He was doing that now, oblivious to if Kaoru was even paying attention to him anymore.

[Uchida Kaoru]

Kaoru suddenly wondered if she was coming on too strong. She knew that she could do that sometimes. And glasses kid seemed like the down-to-earth type, even if he did happen to associate with yankees. But she maintained a smile... a genuine smile. If there was anything that could set this boy at ease, she hoped that she could win him over that way. She was taking a break from that show she usually put on for most of her peers. It got tiring sometimes, it really did.

"Mizusawa Taku. Nice to meet you." Finally, the boy took her hand. His hand was as warm as his words and his smile, a thought that lingered after the handshake ended and both of them were looking out over the field again.

Mizusawa Taku. Mizusawa. Mizusawa... she repeated again and again in her head, making a guess at the characters it would be written in. That helped her to remember names, and she would need all the help she could get in that department.

The last name was simple enough, but the first name... there were a bunch of ways you could write that. Kaoru was about to ask glass-- Mizusawa about it, when he asked her a question.

"Do...you like going to school here? At Washizu?"

Kaoru glanced over that field to the stately building that was her school. It looked much too expensive to be part of such a small town... something that she always had mixed feelings about.

"It's not like that matters much now, does it? It's about halfway through my third year..." Kaoru absently toyed with the strap of her lunch bag. That wasn't really an answer, was it? Kaoru had never really ruminated on liking her alma mater... or even whether she should like it or not all that much. It was just a given fact that she should be a Washizu student. She had to be.

"I suppose it's okay. Every place has its good points and its bad points. But it's... a nice school." Kaoru licked her lips. It was a nice school, in a lot of ways. She was lucky to be able to attend it; it probably prepared her for a pretty good future, career, stuff like that...

But she'd always wondered about other kids at the other schools.

"How is Karasumori? I've heard all kinds of stories about it."

Rather than elaborate on those stories, she started messing with her bag again, waiting for Mizusawa to speak.

Kara High was different. Fundamentally different from Washizu Academy, from what she understood... she'd heard stories of fights, drug use and general chaos going on at their campus. She didn't know how much of it was true, but for a school that tolerated the likes of the delinquents she'd heard about, and even that one she saw, Mizusawa Taku's friend and teammate... how does one get along every day among people like that?

It made Kaoru wonder.

OOC: Sorry for this short post... I feel like I'm babbling now D:

[Mizusawa Taku]

ooc: No worries! I had no direction with this post anyway, except that I was angsty when I wrote it and needed a way to channel that angst. XD At least we got some plotting ideas out of it!

ic:

Before she answered his question, Kaoru was being pretty quiet. Though, Mizusawa really didn't have all that big a problem with that fact. It seemed that Kaoru was the type of girl who didn't feel the need to be chatting 24/7, like someone who was grounded enough to take some time every now and then to think before speaking. He'd met very few girls who were the same way, and of the few that he'd dated, only one seemed about as quiet as Kaoru could be. He waited patiently for her answer though, glad that she wasn't rushing to come up with a response, that she was taking her time to speak with him. It was a lot more than he could expect from most Washizu kids.

"It's not like that matters much now, does it? It's about halfway through my third year..." Kaoru absently toyed with the strap of her lunch bag. "I suppose it's okay. Every place has its good points and its bad points. But it's... a nice school." Kaoru licked her lips.

Mizusawa nodded his understanding. In many ways, he felt the same way about Karasumori. He was already in his final year, so there wasn't much else to say. He wouldn't be switching high schools now. And it was...nice, he guessed one could say. But he couldn't help wondering...did Kaoru not like her school? It seemed like such a privilege to be able to attend Washizu. He wouldn't pester her for a deeper answer, but something about the way she'd chosen to answer him made him wonder. Perhaps Washizu really wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

"How is Karasumori? I've heard all kinds of stories about it."

Oh, now the tables had turned on him. Karasumori? How could he even begin to explain it. Nice? That was a word that Kaoru had just used, and one that had also popped into his own mind. But...Karasumori really wasn't all that nice a place. The classrooms, while cozy in a way (maybe because he'd been in them for so long), were dingy compared to the Washizu ones, and the school looked a tad worn-down. Still, at this point it had begun to feel like something of a home. Of course, there were also Yankees, which meant fights in class, in the hallways, on the school grounds...But were Yankees any worse than the biggest snobs that attended Washizu? Mizusawa had to wonder. After working with Yankees on the tumbling team, maybe--just maybe, he was beginning to realize--Yankees really weren't as bad as everyone made them out to be.

Realizing he hadn't answered Kaoru's question, he quickly shrugged. "Ah, well. It's a school. Like Washizu, just a little less..." he wasn't sure he wanted to use the word "rich". He didn't want to insult Kaoru, anyway. Moving on, he continued, "Well...it's a pretty diverse place, I guess you could say."

He almost wanted to ask her just what stories she had heard, but he figured he could probably guess some on his own. About the Yankees. Fights. Stealing. Maybe even killings, though the Yankees he had recently befriended--he was sure had nothing to do with that kind of thing.

As he thought all this, something was nagging him at the back of his mind. He glanced at Kaoru again, and whatever it was finally hit him. The way she was toying with her backpack strap. It looked like...could she possibly be...? Mizusawa frowned. He hadn't thought about it too deeply before, but watching her now, it seemed like she was nervous. Or bored. Which was possible. He knew he could have that effect on people sometimes.

Looking away and back down at the grass by his feet, he sighed. "Hey, you know...I'm sorry I keep going on and on. You're welcome to leave whenever you like, since you finished your lunch and all." He bit his lip. He'd actually been enjoying the company though. "To be honest, I'm really surprised you came all the way over here to chat with me. Thanks." Even if just a little, he'd opened up to her somewhat. It felt good to talk honestly, even if he hadn't been able to tell her who he'd been thinking of, the same person who plagued his mind day and night. His brow furrowed as his mind conjured up yet another image of Kiyama, doing his best at tumbling practice. Great, it was beginning again...

ooc: Oh my gosh, worst post ever. >___< But I've been having stupid internet problems all night!

[Uchida Kaoru]

"Ah, well. It's a school. Like Washizu, just a little less..." Mizusawa paused, as if taking a second to rearrange his thoughts before he continued. "Well...it's a pretty diverse place, I guess you could say."

Diverse seemed like an interesting way to put it. Was Washizu diverse? Kaoru felt like she knew a lot of different kinds of people, but then again, why did interacting with people like the down-to-earth student janitor or even his hooligan buddy seem so different from all the interactions she'd had before? Did that make her sheltered, or naive?

"Hey, you know...I'm sorry I keep going on and on. You're welcome to leave whenever you like, since you finished your lunch and all. To be honest, I'm really surprised you came all the way over here to chat with me. Thanks."

Coming across glasses ki--Mizusawa had been rather coincidental. It was a nice coincidence, but just something that happened. He really shouldn't think so much of it. And seriously, was he really so grateful for what was just some time-killing talk? Kaoru grinned, waving a hand in dismissal. "Don't mention it. You're better conversation than anyone else I'd be eating with right now."

Only until those words had left her mouth did Kaoru really think about what she was saying. Talking like that sounded a little judgmental, didn't it?

In fact, the more she got along at Washizu, the more she doubted that the people there really weren't that bad. She had friends, and she thought they were really nice people... but everyone was just so deep in this facade... this game that everyone seemed intent on playing. Kaoru wasn't at all different from everyone in that respect.

She often wondered if everyone else had the same thoughts as she did. How different were the people she knew from the people she knew? Was it a Washizu thing? A rich people thing? Just a people thing?

The girl checked her watch. "I've still got a bit of lunch time left; it'll be alright." She looked up again, hoping to flash a reassuring smile, but she was greeted by a tense face. Whatever that boy was thinking about almost seemed like it pained him. It really hurt to watch.

Kaoru placed a hand on the Mizusawa's shoulder and tilted her head to get better look at his face. It looked much like she'd found the him not too long ago. Obviously, that thing was still bothering him... a lot. She didn't know how sensitive it was, or if inquiring into that thing would offend him, but...

"Are you okay?" Still, she was beginning to feel a bit comfortable around this Mizusawa. Maybe offering whatever she could, whether it was advice or just a listening ear, could help her return the favor. Besides, in a lot of ways she felt that she already knew this kid about as much as the classmates she'd "known" for years. "Don't feel like you're talking my ears off, or anything; I really don't mind listening."

Kaoru suddenly thought about that thing she was considering bringing up, but quickly decided against it. Then she noticed her hand, and wondered if she was being too forthright again. She removed it, placing in her lap and smirked. Kaoru had just learned Mizusawa's name, so it was understandable if he didn't want to talk to her about something that seemed to be so important or personal.

She then turned to the field again, making sure to keep the smile on her face. "Or we could just sit. It's no problem. Whatever you're comfortable with."


OOC: what am I typing omg ramble ramble ramble... XD

[Mizusawa Taku]

"Don't mention it. You're better conversation than anyone else I'd be eating with right now."

Mizusawa smiled warmly in return for girl's grin, though he was actually quite surprised by her words. Kaoru, when he'd first met her, had seemed pretty popular. When he and Ryosuke had been hiding in the closet, it had been friends of hers who had entered the Washizu male tumbling team headquarters, right? And they'd seemed so eager and happy to see her too. Did Kaoru not really like her friends all that much? Well, he wasn't going to judge her for it. As far as he had seen so far, Kaoru was a very big exception to the norm at Washizu. Granted, he'd never had much contact with girls to begin with, so he couldn't say much. But even compared to the girls at his own school, there was something different about her. He...he actually felt some kind of comfort in talking to her, even despite how little they knew each other, and under the strange circumstances with which they'd met.

The girl checked her watch. "I've still got a bit of lunch time left; it'll be alright." She looked up again, hoping to flash a reassuring smile, but she was greeted by a tense face.

His mind suddenly going back to Kiyama and how much he really knew about him, he'd lowered his gaze to his lap, to the sheaves of grass that clustered beneath him and all around him. He'd barely heard the girl speaking to him. Which was why he was a little surprised to feel a gentle touch on his shoulder, and looking up to find she was staring into his eyes with the kind of concern and curiosity he hadn't seen another girl give him in a very long while. He froze at first, unsure of what to expect.

"Are you okay?" Still, she was beginning to feel a bit comfortable around this Mizusawa. "Don't feel like you're talking my ears off, or anything; I really don't mind listening."

He felt the girl's hand leave his shoulder again, and his eyes had left hers, unable to meet them now. He was fighting an inner battle right now, but not one that he had been expecting. The thing was......somehow, he really wanted to tell Kaoru about what was bothering him. Even now he could imagine how relieving it might feel just to spill his heart out to someone, anyone who would listen. Even if the feeling was short-lived, it would be so nice to have that moment, where he could take some of the weight off of his own shoulders, wonder if someone else could understand what he was going through. But, that was it, of course. He wasn't sure at all that Kaoru could understand this. And considering it was all his own fault anyway, he wasn't sure he wanted to burden her with his own problems.

"Or we could just sit. It's no problem. Whatever you're comfortable with."

Mizusawa paused, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. What to do? This was a rare opportunity, after all. He didn't think he'd really feel as comfortable as he did now with telling someone--not that he was completely comfortable with it, but he was suddenly far more eager than usual to share something, anything, to lessen the load.

"...Is it really okay?" he asked quietly, still not quite meeting Kaoru's eyes.

He looked away for a moment, over at the playing field again, squinting against the sunlight. The inner battle of "what-to-do" continued inside of him, and he sat quietly for a moment.

Do it. You'll feel much better if you do. The voice of reason spoke loud and clear inside of him. It was true--for his own mental well-being, this was the best thing to do. And if Kaoru really, really didn't mind...

He just didn't have to be specific.

He paused again, preparing himself before he spoke. "Well..." he hesitated, before sighing and continuing on, "...it's about someone...Someone that I like." He paused, his mind in a frenzy over what to say next. Even so, however, already he felt a bit of the weight lifted. "It's just..." he sighed again, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "...If I ever told them how I feel, I don't...I don't think it would go very well. I'm pretty positive about that, actually. I...don't want them to reject me because of my feelings, but...I also can't stop thinking about them, all the time. Hearing hi--" he caught himself just in time, nearly revealing what about this situation was much worse than any other. The fact that it was a boy he had these feelings for. He didn't want Kaoru to think he was disgusting, no matter how much he really was. That was another part of the nightmare--not just him being rejected by Kiyama. Him being rejected by everyone, for being what he was.

He sighed again, lowering his head. "The name always in my head, the face..." His voice trailed off, his left hand coiling into a fist around the grass beside him. He suddenly wasn't feeling all that relieved. It felt more like he'd said too much. Maybe he'd scare Kaoru away.

[Uchida Kaoru]

OOC: So yeah all the ~dramatic irony~ considering the other character I RP made this post lulzy for me to write... XD


"Well..." he started. Kaoru was elated that the boy actually seemed like he was going to open up to her, but she dared not look at him again. That might be too much. Whatever he was about to divulge was something that made him very nervous, and she didn't want to intimidate him before he even began.

Instead, she continued playing with the strap of her lunch bag, nodding slightly.

"...it's about someone...Someone that I like."

"Ah," Kaoru whispered, making sure to be quiet enough and not to distract him. That thing that had been bothering the boy... it was a crush. A crush. She imagined all the times she talked to her friends about who liked who and potential reciprocations and who was doomed to fail. Those comprised some of the conversations she liked to have with them the most. Crushes were exciting, crushes were beautiful, crushes were... cruel.

Looking at someone, that someone and feeling your heart beat so fast you'll die, it's the most wonderful and horrible thing in the world.

"It's just..." Mizusawa started again, with a sigh. His voice was low, and Kaoru could feel the sadness.

Talking about it... or even just thinking about it was so hard for him. For the Karasumori kid, it seemed that he regarded this crush as something horrible. Kaoru tightened her grip around the strap of her bag and waited for him to go on.

"...If I ever told them how I feel, I don't...I don't think it would go very well. I'm pretty positive about that, actually. I...don't want them to reject me because of my feelings, but...I also can't stop thinking about them, all the time. Hearing hi--"

There was a hitch in his voice, and Mizusawa stopped speaking. Kaoru nodded slightly, as if to encourage him to continue talking. Fortunately, he started back after a few moments.

"The name always in my head, the face..."

And that was all he said. Mizusawa seemed to be playing with the grass rather than continue talking, or look up at her. It was too freaking green. Kaoru frowned.

There was something about the way he was talking that made Kaoru wonder if this was the first time glasses kid had ever liked someone, and made her positive that he'd never confessed to anyone before. In high school? That made him a late bloomer, right? Wasn't that weird? Did it matter? She shook off the thought.

"Hmmm..." she went, rubbing her palms together. Went she left the building for lunch, she hadn't expected to find glasses kid out here, or to find herself feeling like his friend, and definitely not finding out that he has being plagued by the crush from hell... she wasn't quite sure how to handle all that. But from the way the boy was avoiding her eyes, and had barely gotten out what he'd just manage to say; it was obvious he was nervous. She felt like she should try to comfort him.

She took a deep breath and began.

"I think that liking anyone is a beautiful thing in itself. To care for someone else like that, to appreciate another person on that level is a beautiful thing, y'know?"

She'd liked a guy before. A few guys. But mainly this one guy. Even thinking about it, she felt a fluttering in her chest and a hollow feeling in her heart. She never felt one without the other. Were all crushes like that?

Kaoru set her bag beside her, and turned a little towards Mizusawa. "'You always regret the things you don't do more than the things you do,' is something my dad always says." She wasn't blessed with initiative or even any big hopes or dreams, but it seemed like such an important thing she made sure never to forget it. "...maybe it's the kind of thing I'll look at years from now and beat myself up for." Kaoru felt her face heat up a bit. It took her a moment to figure out why.

She wasn't the type to get embarrassed easily, but she also wasn't the type to accidentally say things aloud.

"No. No, I meant..."

Kaoru was sad and disappointed that she didn't have the confidence to talk to that guy, but did she regret it that much? Maybe she was too young for it.

"Isn't this your third year, too? Just think about it. We've only got a few months with our friends and our clubs and our... everything until we have to move on." Graduation was right around the corner. Kaoru knew that her parents had been hounding her about selecting a college since... forever, and she wondered if it was the same for the boy she was sitting next to. Even if he wasn't continuing school, he struck her as the type of person to get a job.

Either way, time was running out.

"'This is the end of your youth!'" Kaoru imitated her father again in that authoritative voice he always had. "This is not the time to be sad or worry about those kinds of things. It's not going to get any easier after this. You're not being fair to yourself if you don't even give yourself a chance."

Kaoru pursed her lips. She didn't really know what she was saying; she'd by passed the filter that went on when she was in the Washizu hallways... which probably kept her from saying a lot of stupid things. Maybe she was giving a bunch of advice that he didn't need? He didn't want? The boy never asked for her input. Maybe he was just aiming for some kind of release.

But Kaoru didn't want to see him this unhappy, especially when she considered that he probably felt much worse than he looked. He was rolling on the ground and whimpering when she'd walked out there. This was giving him such a hard time. The girl fancied herself a good judge of character, and by now she had confidence that she was speaking to a pretty good guy. Other people could see that, right?

Or was Mizusawa's crush... picky? Was glasses kid just so down on himself he'd rather count himself out rather than even try?

She exhaled, and looked up to the sky, a small but pensive smile on her face. "This special... 'someone'... is what kind of person? Someone you know well? Are you friends?"

[Mizusawa Taku]

ooc: Yaaay! Since he basically got his feelings out and showed some level of trust with Kaoru, I think we can close this post soon, don't you? Unless you wanted something else to happen! If you don't want to write another one though, I ended the thread with this one. Just let me know, and I'll edit though, if you want to write more!

ic:

"Hmmm..." she went, rubbing her palms together.

Mizusawa didn't have the heart to look up, wasn't sure he wanted to see Kaoru's expression. Had she caught his near slip-up? He couldn't tell just from the sound of her voice. He was about to get the courage to finally look up and see, when he heard her take a breath. His eyes immediately averted back to the ground. He couldn't look. Not yet.

"I think that liking anyone is a beautiful thing in itself. To care for someone else like that, to appreciate another person on that level is a beautiful thing, y'know?"

His breath seemed to hitch somewhere inside of him. He could only nod in agreement to her question, feeling a little foolish that he was being so childish and acting so nervous. Kaoru's voice sounded calm, warm, comforting. But despite her kind words, he wondered...could his kind of love be considered "beautiful"?

He heard a rustling near her and finally looked up. Kaoru had turned to face him, her voice a little more serious. "'You always regret the things you don't do more than the things you do,' is something my dad always says...maybe it's the kind of thing I'll look at years from now and beat myself up for." He saw a change in her expression, but wasn't sure what it was until she spoke again. "No. No, I meant..."

He could only watch her, could only listen. He didn't trust himself to speak again just yet. But the way Kaoru was speaking...did she have some kind of secret too? Had there been a guy she'd really, really liked a lot? He understood the feeling, so much more than she could know. But something in him wanted to tell her...She was pretty, and more than that, she was....she was a girl. And clearly not like other girls. One who was nice enough to listen to some kid off the street and want to help out, even just a little. But even that wasn't the point. Her being female alone...That was enough incentive for her feelings to be okay.

Not his case.

"Isn't this your third year, too? Just think about it. We've only got a few months with our friends and our clubs and our... everything until we have to move on."

Mizusawa nodded. Of course she was right. He'd been hiding these feelings for a while now, but it hadn't been easy to do that. He'd spent that first whole year denying he had these feelings. And then the second year, even though he'd tried to deny them, by dating girls and trying to watch lots of movies of happy heterosexual couples (in fact, those movies had only made him want to find his own happiness in love), it hadn't worked. That year, those feelings, had been something like torture. And he'd ended up finding out that he disliked quite a few girls in his class. And now of course he was in his third year, and, well, he wasn't going to deny it anymore. His feelings were his feelings. And they were stronger than ever now, probably for the exact reasons Kaoru was stating. This...all of this...was going to end soon. And if he never got the courage to tell Kiyama how he felt, would it be worse if he never knew the answer? But he couldn't even bring himself to say a few words to Kiyama, let alone reveal his true feelings for the other boy!

"'This is the end of your youth!'" Kaoru imitated her father again in that authoritative voice he always had. "This is not the time to be sad or worry about those kinds of things. It's not going to get any easier after this. You're not being fair to yourself if you don't even give yourself a chance."

"I...I know..." Mizusawa murmured, though his voice was barely audible. He hung his head, feeling both a mixture of relief that Kaoru was so willing to listen and that he could lessen some of his own burden, and yet sadness at the same time, at knowing for sure now the actions he had to take, but wasn't sure he had the courage to.

She exhaled, and looked up to the sky, a small but pensive smile on her face. "This special... 'someone'... is what kind of person? Someone you know well? Are you friends?"

The conversation seemed to shift here. Mizusawa looked up again and saw a small smile on the girl's face. He felt so relaxed with her. It was weird, thinking about how uncomfortable he'd been with his former girlfriends, girls he'd spent quite a bit of time with, and considering this was a girl he barely knew. But she really seemed to care.

Mizusawa bit his lip. 'Well...I guess we're sorta friends, in a way. Classmates. We've been in each other's class since first year though. And, I don't know what other people think of...this person--" It felt kinda weird, putting it like that, but he didn't want to give it away and he also didn't want to lie to Kaoru. "--But I really believe they're a good person, no matter what others think. They don't seem selfish at all, or anything. Quiet, and..." It was really difficult to describe Kiyama to her. He wanted to mention the traits about Kiyama that he loved the most--his strength, how tall he was, how cool...But weren't those traits all too guy-ish? "And they seem really gentle despite what other people think." There. He'd come up with something. And all of it was true, too. Kiyama might be a Yankee, and one that Mizusawa hadn't yet had the opportunity to get-to-know well, but he believed firmly from the way the guy acted alone that he was a good guy. Not the type who picked fights just to start trouble, but the one who had learned to fight to protect himself if need be, to protect those he loved. That's what Mizusawa believed, anyway.

This thought in his mind, his eyes strayed down to his watch.

Lunch time was nearly over now. Shoot. He was supposed to get back to the school to take out the mountains of trash that would have accumulated by this point in the cafeteria.

Despite the fact that he was late for his job, he didn't feel as stressed anymore, all of a sudden. His problems involving Kiyama were still very real, and he knew it was very unlikely he'd have the guts to approach Kiyama anytime soon. But having talked like this to someone...he felt so relieved now. He hadn't wanted to mention it to any of his close friends, hadn't wanted them to worry about him or to pry over who in their classroom it was. Eventually they would have found out, for sure, just from the odd number of times he tried to sneak glances at the boy in the back of the room, by the door. Telling someone like Kaoru...that had been a secret blessing in disguise.

Getting to his feet now, he brushed some dirt and grass off of his clothes, then turned to Kaoru.

"It's late. I have to go back in and get to work. You'll probably have to finish up too. But, I wanted to say..." He allowed a slight smile to slip onto his face. Strangely enough, it was actually heartfelt. "Thanks, a lot. For the food. And for listening to me. I've kept that bottled up for a while now, so it felt good to have someone just listen. I really appreciate it." Then, he bowed to her, his eyes on the ground beneath his feet. He'd never done something like that with another classmate before, but this situation called for some form of thanks.

After a moment, he straightened up, looking at her one more time. "I guess I'll see you around? Take it easy." Giving her a nod, he turned and headed back towards the school, feeling much less depressed than he had been when he'd first gone to take a rest. Kaoru's words had really worked some magic.

CLOSED